I Can Love You Read online

  “I don’t remember it all,” Tara said. “We were in the studio and went out. It was the spur of the moment. Quinton called a few more people since I didn’t have you or your guys . . . We walked outside, and it just happened. I didn’t see it because . . . Quinton,” she said his name softly. “How bad was it? Was anyone else hurt?”

  “We lost Jamal,” Grim said. Quinton hired his cousin Jamal to be a part of the security team less than a year ago after the former drug dealer cleaned up his life. “I don’t know how much longer Logan can hold on.”

  “Logan? He was there?”

  “Yeah. The owner of the sandwich shop around the corner told police Logan had just left the restaurant before it happened.”

  With eyes cast down, Tara asked, “Why am I here?”

  As far as she could tell, there was nothing visibly wrong with her.

  “You were lucky. I heard if Q hadn’t reacted the way he had, you would have taken a direct hit,” Grim replied. “You got a concussion from hitting the pavement. Some minor cuts and bruises. I think they might let you go in the morning. Doctors probably want to keep you here for the rest of the night, at least for observation.”

  “I want to see him.”

  “Who? Quinton? I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Why not? Grim—”

  “I think you should stay away from him for a while. KeKe is pretty upset, and she is in no condition for any confrontations.”

  “Confrontations? What are you talking about?”

  “Quiana’s upset with you. She thinks you are partly to blame for what happened.”

  “She blames me?”

  “Listen, she’s pregnant, and her hormones are all crazy.”

  “Pregnant?”

  “Yeah. We’ve been trying to keep it under wraps since we found out a few months ago. She wanted to make sure everything was okay before sharing the news.”

  “How can Quiana blame me? I didn’t do this! And if it’s because you weren’t there, we had security. None of us would have thought we were in any danger if—”

  “Tara, people like you and Q are always in potential danger, something you have forgotten these past few weeks. However, KeKe thinks you’ve been toying with her brother’s emotions. She sees how much he cares about you, and you string him along like a lost puppy. He risked his life, saving you, although I’d do the same.”

  “Because you get paid to.”

  “No, because I would.”

  “Grim, I care about him a lot, but we all know there is nothing more between us. I know that. Quinton knows that.”

  But the kiss.

  “I know, kid. It isn’t your fault.”

  “Is he awake?”

  Grim shook his head, causing Tara to sink lower into the bed. “Been unconscious since he got here. There’s one other thing I need to talk to you about. I wanted to tell you earlier, but you disappeared on me and came back to New York.”

  “What is it?”

  “I think it’s time you found another security company to work with you.”

  “What? Why? Because of the shooting?”

  “It’s not just that. I was going to get out a while back. I wanted to see you get to a comfortable place in your life,” Grim replied.

  “This is comfortable? Grim, I won’t abandon rules again. I need you, especially now. Please reconsider,” she pleaded.

  “No, he won’t, because there is nothing else to think about,” Quiana snapped, staring angrily at Tara as she stormed toward the bed, shaking off Grim’s hands as he tried to both console and restrain her. “I don’t know who you think you are, but this is my husband. He’s the father of my child. He’s nothing more to you than another person you can boss around. I am tired of worrying about when and if he’s coming home to me because he’s out there protecting your simple ass!”

  “Quiana!” Tara and Grim exclaimed in unison.

  “I refuse to allow myself to worry another day over the two most important men in my life. It’s bad enough what Craig goes through every day trying to protect someone who couldn’t care less about being protected, but now you want to drag my brother into this? He also put his life in danger for you, and now I might lose him!”

  “Quiana, I’m so sorry. I was telling Grim—” Tara tried to explain, but Quiana left the room before she finished the sentence. Turning to Grim, she said, “After all we’ve been through, you are just going to leave me?”

  “Listen, it hurts me, too. It does, but I have to think about my wife and my family. At first, I tried to figure out who to put in my place, but I realized the bond between us is too strong, and I would worry too much about your safety. We need to sever our professional relationship completely. I’ll have the boys cover you until you find someone else. I even gathered a few names for you to check out.”

  “Whatever,” Tara said, dismissing his efforts to repair the growing distance between them.

  “I want to be home more with my family. I don’t want to miss anything when this kid comes around. I already regret not being there for KeKe. She had a doctor’s appointment already. Please understand, Tara.”

  Tara nodded, but still found it hard to accept what he was telling her. She was hurt . . . She would have compromised with him. Things didn’t have to end this way. She understood the importance and value of family.

  Grim left to join his crying wife in the hallway, and Tara looked around the room, seeing no one left in her corner.

  Chapter 7

  “Excuse me, Tara,” a persistent male voice repeated until it roused her out of much-needed sleep. “Since you’re awake, can I take a selfie with you?”

  Tara didn’t need to give another ounce of blood, but a lab tech stood over her bed, trying to wake her.

  Tara’s half-opened eyes blinked until she focused on the guy at the foot of her bed wearing hospital scrubs. His hospital badge was visible, but he was too far away for her headache induced blurred vision to help her make out a name.

  “How did you get in here?”

  He pointed toward the unmanned door reminding her she was at the mercy of hospital security to keep unwelcome guests away. Her blow up with Grim earlier that day caused her to cease his company’s contract with her immediately.

  “Please?” he asked once more.

  “What the hell are you doing? Your ass is now ten seconds away from being unemployable. Eight. Seven…”

  Tara sat up in bed with outstretched arms at the sight of the eldest Russell sister entering the room. “Jordy! I didn’t know you were coming.”

  “Four! Three! I flew out as soon as I heard the news.”

  The lab tech scurried out the room during the emotional reunion before Jordan made good on her threat. “How the hell did he get in here? Where’s your security?”

  “Gone.”

  “Gone? What the hell is going on around here?” Jordan reached to brush the hair from Tara’s face to get a good look at her. “How are you?”

  The sisters embraced, and instead of answering, the hug invited the dam to break, and tears flowed from Tara’s eyes. Jordan held Tara tight, allowing her to cry in her arms. “What a mess,” Jordan proclaimed.

  “That’s because everything is a mess. Whoever did this killed Quinton’s cousin and his engineer, and now Quinton is barely hanging on,” she said, fighting back more tears. “Grim and Quiana—especially Quiana — are blaming me for everything.”

  Jordan pulled Tara close. “Shh . . . Shh, T. It’s not your fault, not at all. Just give everyone some time.”

  “I need to see Quinton. I have to apologize.”

  “But you did nothing wrong.”

  “Still. I need to see Quinton. I have to see him.”

  A monitor hanging nearby from the ceiling beeped as numbers began to climb. Jordan studied it, rubbing her sister’s back to soothe her.

  “Okay, I’ll see what I can do. Do you need me to get you anything right now?” Jordan asked, stroking her sister’s hair.


  “Where’s Mia?”

  Jordan looked away. “In Vegas. She’s going through some things right now. I don’t know if she’ll make it out here, but she sends her love.”

  “Jordan,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry if I caused the rift between us, but right now, I need my family.”

  “I will always be here for you, sis. I was wrong to alienate you; we all were. I’ll go ask the doctor about your release.”

  Tara’s eyes glistened when she looked up at her big sister to smile.

  * * *

  “I opted for comfort chic. This is cute, right?” Tara’s stylist Justin held up a luxe dusty rose hooded fleece sweatshirt and gestured to a pair of matching bottoms. Positioned on the bed beside the small wardrobe were sunglasses and a pair of white sneakers.

  Tara didn’t care what he brought for her to wear. All that mattered was they cleared her to go home.

  “Two days felt like an eternity in this place. I’ve never longed for my bed so badly before.”

  Jordan gathered additional items from the bag Justin brought with him from Tara’s apartment, including undergarments and her favorite bath products. “You could’ve gone home yesterday if the press wasn’t swarming. They’re keeping these doctors on their toes.”

  Tara glanced at the television, where a morning talk show cast was scrutinizing the incident that sent her and Quinton to the hospital and two men to the morgue. “There they go again, trying to cast Quinton in a negative role. I hate it when they do that. This wasn’t his fault.”

  Justin set up a makeshift hair and makeup station. Unnecessary evils for a woman in her position. “He gives them life every time he steps into his bad boy position.”

  “Yeah, but it’s not who he is. I wouldn’t be here if,” Tara choked up before she finished her sentence. Jordan stroked her back and nudged her toward the bathroom.

  “Come on. Let’s get you dressed and ready.”

  “Why can’t we go out the back? Then none of this would be necessary.” Tara pointed to the makeup being spread out across a white towel on a small table.

  Jordan reached to help her to stand and allowed Tara to lean into her. “We are. Your bodyguard mentioned that overzealous fans and paparazzi are prone to find their way through extra security measures.”

  “And we can’t have them seeing you at your low point. Those pictures will haunt you forever.”

  Tara rolled her eyes. The additional step wasn’t necessary. She already played out her lowest point in front of the world the months after giving up her child.

  “Jordan, I don’t have a bodyguard.”

  “Always were stubborn. Your assistant and Grim assured me he would make certain you get out of here safely.”

  Tara groaned at the mere mention of his name. “I hope Sydney doesn’t cut her vacation short. I told her to stay put, but I know her.”

  “She’s been accommodating.” Jordan left Tara’s toiletries above the sink and turned to leave her alone. “I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

  Tara removed her gown and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She felt the aches and pains, but seeing the bruising from where her body met the pavement caused her to wince. From her forehead and brow line to her jaw and shoulders, past the bruises left from intravenous needles and blood draws, and down to the marks on her thighs and knees.

  What was missing were the marks of bullets, ones that Quinton took on her behalf.

  And Tara didn’t know if she should be thankful or cry.

  “Come in,” Tara said, responding to a knock on the hospital room door. She grunted after making one last attempt to tie her laces. They had left her alone while Jordan and Justin handled other details before her release.

  The door slowly opened, and Grim came in. “May I?”

  “You cut me off, remember?”

  “Tara, I’m sorry.”

  “No need. It’s what you want, isn’t it? So, what can I do for you?”

  “I stopped by to see how you are doing. I also wanted to update you on Q.”

  Tara straightened in her spot on the edge of the bed and her voice perked up. “Yes?”

  “He opened his eyes last night, plus his fever broke.” She heard he was now also battling an infection. “They say if he makes it through the next twenty-four hours without incident, he should be safe. The wounds are already starting the healing process, and he’s no longer in ICU.”

  “That’s wonderful. That makes me feel so much better,” Tara replied. “I knew he’d pull through; he’s a fighter.”

  “He has been asking about you. I told him you were all right, but he said he wants to see for himself.” Grim paused and took a step forward. He looked into Tara’s face, ignoring her squared-off stance to deliver the rest of his news. “I just took Quiana to his house to get some rest. She’s been here all night, and the flight from L.A. the other day took a toll on her.”

  “I understand. It’s difficult traveling cross-country during pregnancy. Morning sickness and flying don’t always mix,” Tara said, immediately realizing her slip and hoping Grim hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t.

  “Q was awake for a few minutes when I left him, but he may have fallen back asleep. The drugs they are giving him are making him drowsy. The nurse said I can take you up there in a wheelchair if you want to go see him.”

  “That’s okay. I can manage with my sister’s help. The nurse should be back soon with my discharge papers, and I’ll go up.”

  “I’ll wait outside for you.”

  “Please don’t,” Tara insisted.

  Twenty minutes later, Grim wheeled Tara down the hall to Quinton’s room. Tara reached for her sister, who walked alongside them. “Can you all give me some time alone with him?”

  “Of course. Take your time.”

  “Thank you.”

  Tara moved to stand but swayed as she immediately put her weight on her legs. Defeated, she dropped back into the seat and let Grim push the wheelchair to his bedside before leaving.

  “Baby girl,” Quinton said weakly. His eyes opened slowly, and he worked on smiling through his heavily sedated state. “How are you feeling?”

  “Better, but I should ask you that question.”

  “Aww, girl, you know me. I’ve seen worse,” Quinton said lightly. “What’s up with the new wheels?”

  “Hospital rules. They said I can go home, but until they see me off, I have to be in this thing. I guess they’re worried about being liable if I pass out and hit my head again.” Tara stood once more, determined to shake her dizziness, and held onto the bed railing. She gazed down into fearful, uncertain eyes, which he tried but did not conceal from her. Tubes providing medicine, fluids, and oxygen appeared attached to every part of his body. The one visible bandage was on his thigh, propped on a pillow.

  “Is that where it hit you?” she asked, pointing at the bandage.

  “One of them. A bullet grazed me there,” Quinton answered. He slowly opened his hospital gown with trembling hands, one with an intravenous needle taped to the back of it, showing her his bandaged shoulder wound. “This one might take some time to heal. With therapy, they say I should be brand new again. Being shot at and hit changes you.”

  “Quin, I wanted to stop by to apologize and say goodbye.”

  “Why?”

  “Everyone is right. I got us into this mess. I asked you to meet me at the studio.”

  “Tara, don’t. I already had plans to be there. What happened was us being at the wrong place at the wrong time; none of this is your fault. I heard KeKe had a little talk with you.”

  “She loves you very much.” The hurt in just how much his sister’s love affected how she blamed Tara made the words heavy.

  “Is that what goodbye is for? I don’t want you out of my life, Tara. You are one of my closest friends, except for KeKe, you are my best friend. Yeah, I admit I have feelings for you, but I’m willing to set them aside if they will jeopardize our friendship. I need you,” Quinton insisted. He took
her hand and wrapped his weakened fingers around hers. “Promise me something.”

  “It all depends,” she said. A familiar grin on her face made his eyes sparkle. The incident was no longer at the forefront of her thoughts.

  “This whole ordeal got me thinking about how precious life is. Now, seeing that so far I have made it through this and so have you, I think we’re meant to be here for a reason. We both have issues we need to resolve before it’s too late.” He blinked to keep his tired eyes open.

  “I agree, but you should rest now.”

  “Not until I say this, and you promise me. I need to know you will go back and see him. Make him listen to you. You need to get your life back from your ex. You have a love song inside you waiting to come out.” He paused and then added, “I also want you to keep looking for your kid.”

  “I will,” she promised. Tara wiped her face with her sleeve and sniffled back more tears.

  Quinton smiled. “One other thing. Do you know why KeKe is jealous of you?”

  “Jealous? What drugs are they pumping into your veins?”

  “She knows how tight we are. She feels the same way about you that I felt about Grim when they hooked up. I have you to turn to now. It’s not just her anymore.”

  “Quinton, she’s your twin sister. I’m just a friend.”

  “We both know that, but Tara, you mean much more to me. I can now admit to you and myself that I love you. I know I can’t have you the way I want, but I refuse to lose you completely.”

  “Well, I always wanted a kid brother, so I guess now I have no choice but to let you tag along since you saved my life,” she said, giving him a sweet peck on the lips, diffusing the emotions behind his sentiment. “I love you, too, kiddo. Promise me something, and I’ll do what you want.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You will go through whatever physical therapy they recommend, and you will allow me to be there for you. I want to beat you on the basketball court this summer.”